eddie from ohio journal February 21, 2004

FROM CALIFORNIA TO CANADA
"Coast 2 Coast with EFO"
28 Jan - 21 Feb '04
through the eyes of novelist/rapper/producer/director/babysitter/bass player Michael Clem

For those of you taking notes (and you know who you are), you may notice that Mike (me) is jumping out of rotation. In the Journal Relay Team, that is the EFO Diary Quartet, the order is Julie, then Eddie, then Robbie, then Mike, then rinse, then repeat. Why then, are we missing clever quill and scroll work by Wordsmith Schaef, and jumping right to the bottomless verbal diarrhea pit of Hunt and Pecker Clem (me)?
Well, the explanation is tragic. Seems ole Rob's computer has caught a case of the dreaded Michelangelo's Pasta Fagioli Virus. Beware of this rare, but deadly, hard-drive-killing bug. It's not contracted by opening mysterious email attachments, but rather, by spilling hot Italian soup all over your keyboard and PC tower. You don't want this happening to you, trust us. Infected and dejected, Robbie claims to have made several attempts to type out his account of our California Tour, filled with witty anecdotes, hilarious observations, and travel tips to avoid pick-pocketing and botulism, but as fate would have it - that classic piece of art will be forever filed in the Black Hole Genius Bin along with Brian Wilson's "Smile" and Pete Townsend's "Lifehouse". Look for Kid Schaef to make a comeback soon (next rotation perhaps), but in the meantime, don't you dare say to him, "Dude, you're getting a Dell!"


CALIFORNIA: HERE'S WHAT WE RECALL...

This trip marks our first experience with JetBlue. Leather seats in coach? Lotsa room? Direct TV? A very kind casual staff? An uneventful DIRECT flight? A ridiculously low fare? What's not to love? Not to sound disingenuous to our good friends at the competitors, especially during this very trying time for the airline industry, but we hope this marks a trend of things to come. American, United, US Air, Continental - you rock, too! Hooray for Everybody - Up With People! Anyway, we fly from DC to Oakland, and certainly don't miss the usual stop in Texas or Colorado for a connecting flight.

For our past few CA Tours, we've made the incredibly cost-prohibitive decision to treat ourselves to hiring a tour bus. In the past, we've scrimped and saved, turned tricks, sold body parts to Science .... anything to raise funds for this acquisition. This tour is no exception, and we always realize that the tour bus game can be a real gamble - but this time we come up in SPADES. Say hello to Margherita - an almost brand-new Black Prevost bus (trust us - that's good)... with all our favorite immenities, but that isn't even the best part. The absolute best feature of this vessel is the warm body in the cockpit -- that's right, the driver. Say hello to Dennis White. He's outtasight. He drives at night. His ubermodel girlfriend's tight. He really did us right. When not gripping the mighty steering wheel of the bus, you'll find Dennis cooking up goods for the band and guests: cookies, Mexican cuisine, snacks galore. We've NEVER had treatment like this before, and it certainly doesn't hurt that he's also nice and funny as can be. Dennis: you're a true gem.

Flying out the night before our first show, gives us a chance to enjoy the city we're playing -- in this case: San Francisco. Kind of a sleepy town. Not much to do. Pretty flat. Limited food and beverage options. Quite boring, actually. Do you need to dust off your sarcasm detector yet? With Margherita parked in front of the club, we all splinter off to different activities for the day: Bob and Eddie head to Haight/Ashbury, Robbie traces the street path of the Trollies to the nearest Starbucks (go figure), and Mike and Julie do what any sensible tourists would do when trapped in the Tenderloin District - we draw the blinds in the bus and watch "Seabiscuit" on DVD. Thumbs up on William H. Macy's performance.

Our show - for the second time - is at The Great American Music Hall. A fine local group opens up, Four Year Bender (nice folks and good tunes). As for our set, someone from Glide Magazine (an online publication) has beaten me to the punch with a review. You can check it out at http://www.glidemagazine.com/1/reviews287.html

After the show, like our last at the Great Am, we head around the corner to The Olive Bar. Being a Thursday this time, it's a bit quieter, but wouldn't you know it - the same bartender, Gil, is at the helm, and we have a marvelous time celebrating the 30th Birthday of our good Virginia transplant friend, Laura, her hubbie, Drew, and a nice cast of friends.

Dateline SEBASTOPOL - a fine Northern California town on the cusp of Sonoma wine country. After playing the fine Kate Wolf Festival back in June, 2003, we forged a nice relationship with festival booker, Cloud Moss. Well, Cloud is none other than the big honcho in off-season show promoting in Sebastopol. He is why we're here. On this stop, he's booked us for not one, but two shows at the local community center. During the day, we're slated to play at 11 ("hiccup-belch") A.M. for 300-plus kids bused in from local elementary schools, and a handful of high-school choir kids, as well. What great kids!! Not only are they enthusiastic, but when given the chance to ask questions, they articulate inquiries with such forethought and insight that had all of us thinking in the back of our minds, "Your progressive hippie parents don't allow a TV in your home, do they?" One standout kid is named Colther, who says he's written a song. "Sing it." Robbie says - and darn it, if he doesn't do it. He is awesome. Another highlight is the debut of a Robbie original written for his children's music sideshow, entitled "Sally" -- it's a gem. The finale of the show is the rousing conga line dance around the performance hall to our non-stop version of "Jump In The Line". If Sebastopol kids are any indicator -- our future's looking bright. Get out those shades.

Between the two community center shows, we head to our friends at KRCB 91 FM, for an in-studio performance/interview with the lovely Robin Pressman, engineered by the EFO-faithful Katie Stohlman. Thank goodness the show is taped, as we let a whole lotta not-so-FCC-friendly verbage slip out.

After a fine sushi dinner with Cloud, family and friends, we play to the grown-ups that evening back at the Community Center. No original songs sung by audience members - no conga lines, but nevertheless - Sebastopol rocks. Thanks, Cloud! Thanks, Holiday Inn Express!

En route to the next town, we partake in one of our favorite California rituals: The In and Out Burger. 'Nuff said.

Dateline- SANTA CRUZ -- back to one of our longest running stints at a California venue, at The Kuumbwa Jazz Center. The venue is nowhere near as strange as its name. Matter of fact, it's one of our favorite rooms, period. It's always a full house, and it's always an enthusiastic crowd, and this time is no exception. As for the day in Santa Cruz, I enjoy a wonderful metro-sexual shopping adventure with our visiting manager, Jared Paul. Tipping the street performers, pooh-poohing the begging vagrants, we take in boutique after boutique with reckless abandon. From smoothie bar to antique shop, it is overcast bliss with an unmistakable scent of cannabis in the air. What a town!

That evening, we have the usual wonderful Kuumbwa experience: rabid reactions -- standing O for Eddie solo. GREAT room. Afterward, we host some of our favorite Californians aboard the USS Margherita, which include John Sandidge and his lovely wife, Betty. John is one of our favorite presenters of all-time, and is the stuff of legend in the Santa Cruz music scene, though we've never cornered him on the origins of his nickname, Sleepy John. We try not to judge. After this night, we obviously try not to sleep. After all the guests leave, Julie, Jared and I take in the Jared-purchased "Curb Your Enthusiasm" first season on DVD. What a series. Dennis drives us through the night to SoCal. I open the fridge and a Corona comes out and crashes to pieces on the kitchenette floor. I take it upon myself to clean up, and end up passing out due to the overwhelming scent of Pine Sol. I'm revived by the scent of Corona, and crawl into my bunk for a marathon nap before I'm awoken by a small Boston Terrier named Yofi (Hebrew for "awesome"). Yofi belongs to Jared his lovely wife, Rachel. We must be in Southern Cal!

Dateline-- PASADENA -- our manager, Jared Paul, recently re-located to LA, takes Julie, Robbie, Eddie and me on a tour to the legendary Farmer's Market for lunch. Julie and Jared end up seeing Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis making out with his waif girlfriend while waiting in line for Mediterranean fare. After that, it's off to Brentwood for yogurt, *where we spy Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea making out with Kiedis' chick.

* This part is made up, because it feels like the LA thing to do.

Pasadena is not LA, and LA is not Pasadena. It's a nice sprawling, well-mannered community that is home to the Rose Bowl and a number of strip malls -- nice folks, too. The show at the Unitarian Church that evening is quite rewarding with a whole bunch of folks (our first time at this establishment). Robbie and Mike's high school chum, Colin, who's made good in the acting scene (along with his wife Salli, who's appeared in "ER" and "The District") brought out a fellow actor friend who we kind of recognized. Julie swears he's in some "Babysitting" movie, but I distinctly remember him as the guy who had his leg thrown up on by Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly". Forget your Maps to The Star's Homes -- just come to an EFO Show in SoCal to see the Top Hollywood Brass! Oh my God -- there's Rodney Allen Rippy!!!!

We fly out of Long Beach Airport. We love the small, uncongested airports these days -- and this one looks like it could've been the set for "Casablanca"'s final scene. Thanks, JetBlue. Great roundtrip.

Julie wants to send a shout out to fellow Atkins Worshiper, Edhead Ron Rosen.


NEW ENGLAND IN FEBRUARY -- WHAT WERE WE THINKING??

What should be a four date run ends up being a three date run, because the first leg of the tour in Hartford, CT is cancelled by the presenter due to weather. Thankfully, it's already been rescheduled for Saturday, April 24 (Julie's birthday) - so mark your calendars!

Dateline GREENWICH, RHODE ISLAND. This is our second time at the historic Greenwich Odeum - a fine non-profit old movie house that works the gambit for all kinds of music to plays. Great folks, too. Word of advice: when dining in fine downtown Greenwich on a weekend (with the pressing obligation of a show or movie), give yourself about 5 extra hours. For the few dining establishments on the main drag in this beautiful 3-traffic light town, there's always a waiting list to be seated and the service takes a while. For the second time, we're pressed to settle for the local Pizza Establishment, which is obviously run by the family who've inspired HBO's "The Sopranos". Don't get me wrong, I LOVE red checkered table cloths and Goumbas expedited ahead of me in line to be kissed on the cheek and sat immediately. I will say no more, for I prefer Chuck Taylors to cement shoes any day. This bistro has a family-like charm that says, "WhaddaYOUlookinat?"

Nice show at the Odeum. Thanks, Frank. Thanks, Steve. Thanks, Rocco. Thanks, Big P*ssy.

Dateline BURLINGTON, VERMONT. Well, after 13 years, we finally hit the town that gave us Phish, and, um... Phish fans. Matter of fact, the room we play, Club Metronome, is upstairs from Nectar's, the room immortalized by Phish (in album and song). I wish we could've spent more time there. Nice town, with my favorite bathroom graffiti sentiment that seemed to sum up the town's feelings: U.S. OUT OF VERMONT!
A big thanks to Big Ben (monitor tech/former thief) for picking our frozen trailer lock.

Dateline HAMILTON COLLEGE, CLINTON, NEW YORK -- Our third appearance at their wonderful folk series. They're always nice kids, but the college performing experience never does anything to make us feel more youthful. We're almost feeling like grandparents these days. "Gee, wish more kids could've come out" says the well-meaning student rep "but The Shinns and Andrew W K are also here this week." Wow. Small school. Big budget. God Bless 'em. It's our understanding that the annual tuition is currently $750,000 per co-ed. Hope they got some Pell Grants. The nice thing about Hamilton, is that they open the doors to the public, so there was more than enough folks attending from surrounding New York communities. Thanks, Hamilton College.

By the way - did I mention that we spent a lot of this New England tour very cold?


THE MID-FEBRUARY WEEK OFF: ROBBIE SOLO --- EDDIE FROLLO -- JULIE LAID-LOW -- MIKE 'ELLO 'ELLO

Though I didn't witness any of the Robbie solo shows (Massachussetts, Philly PA and NYC) first hand, I can only assume that he was awesome. Why? Because he told me he was. No, actually, many reports came in from satisfied, non-Robbie relatives, who claimed the shows were a euphoric out-of-body experience. Please note that we are but a few days away from the release of his wonderful live solo CD, "In The Flesh". Trust me - it's a winner. Watch this site for updates.

As we've mentioned, we've been up for a couple of Washington Area Music Awards (Wammies). Well, the awards are on Sunday, February 15. With Robbie out of town, Mike out of the country, and Julie out of shocking J-Lo type evening gowns, only Eddie is available to attend, and boy, does he represent! We manage to pull in Best Contemporary Folk Group (for the fifth time), and, like it's predecessors "Fishbowl" and "Quick", "Three Rooms" manages to nab Best Contemporary Folk Album. Eddie, in noble fashion, attends the awards on the band's behalf, and for pure shock value, at the podium, *has the presenter rip off half his top to expose his right breast. Way to go, Eddie! Okay, okay, he has a pastie.

* This part is made up, because it feels like the LA thing to do.


CANADA IN FEBRUARY -- WHAT WERE WE THINKING??? PART II

The EFO Pilgrimage to Canada is never an easy one. With Immigration, Customs, Work Permits, NHL Trades, we might as well be going to Europe. We've only been North of the border on three other occasions. In fact, one of our first trips to Toronto was the Maiden Voyage of our brand new Harvey the RV to Toronto's 1997 Folk Alliance (in February). There's no way we would subject poor Harv to another February trip, so we lean on US Air to get us from Reagan National to Toronto the Thursday before our Friday show. Everything goes smooth (as in no cavity checks) so we enjoy our first of a two-night stay at The Four Points Sheraton right off of a freezing-cold Lake Ontario. Their CEO Lounge becomes our hang-out watering hole for this stay -- our favorite server being the ever accommodating Alphea.

Canada has delivered us some of the finest array of artists we've come to know in our thirteen years: The Paperboys, Mad Pudding, Stephen Fearing, Arrogant Worms, Natalie MacMaster and Great Big Sea. These acts always have talent in buckets, and most often times end up being the nicest folks you ever want to meet.

We were looking forward to hopefully reuniting with some of our chums in the not-so-active-anymore Canadian sensation, Moxy Fruvous. Many Edheads are familiar with this group, as we've shared club and festival stages together many times throughout the years. Their continued rabid and loyal fanbase is still alive today, and ironically holding their Fruvous Convention (Frucon) this same weekend. We know we'll be seeing MF's Mike Ford as he's opening our Toronto show, solo. I call Dave Matheson, who unfortunately can't make it to the show as he's giggin with one of his new acts, Betty and the Bobs (an impressive ensemble of Veteran Canadian talent) in Kingston. Dave and I make a point to meet at his pad and catch up over Stella Artois and war stories. Turns out, Dave's as busy as ever with a number of very fulfilling musical endeavors. Great seeing him, and he's kind and friendly as ever. Check out his solo CD some time from a few years ago. I love it.

No sighting this time of MF's Jian or Murray. Jian seems to be keeping pretty busy with his new high-profile Canadian TV show, "Play", which he hosts. We did manage to see him at the previous year's Owen Sound Festival, and even had him pound some dumbek with us on stage. Like Dave, he's got a nice solo six pack CD out, too, that you should check out. Murray has picked up bass-playing duties with Great Big Sea, so he was out on the road being Great Big Murray. Hopefully, we'll see you next time, guys.

Dateline-- HUGH'S ROOM, TORONTO. What a great spot. They have the friendliest staff top to bottom. Turns out that Toronto has never had a room quite like this - a sit-down, listening folk music room, and Hugh's is only a little over a year old. Their lineup of acts looks very similar to those of U.S. venues we play. Waiter Dan (from Owen Sound originally) delivers us five phenomenal steak entrees....and when EFO is fat and happy -- everybody happy. As mentioned before, the hysterical, demented Mike Ford opens the show with a great mix of old Fruvous numbers, and some newer material that he currently plays to seventh and eighth graders, as part of his new Raffi Ford image. Canada's youth are truly in good hands with this guy. The boisterous presence of visiting Fruheads gave a "Rocky Horror" cult-like feel to the event from the opening bars of "Heat Seeker Boy" to his final strums. He's every bit as loveable and insane as we remembered him in the Fruvous days. He'll have his own CD release date at Hugh's on June 4. Great seeing Mike, and meeting two of his 24 siblings, John and Mary, plus his lovely wife Therese.

The EFO set turns out fine, with an obligatory "Tommy" thrown in for good measure, but a real highlight is the debut of Robbie's new ballad "Clear and Present Danger" -- coming to a stage near you. Making its debut and finale is my very own Ooompa Looompa Cartwheel Tribute - not coming to a stage near you. Julie sings like an angel, Eddie drums like a devil (enough to make Neil Pert himself blush), and Bob mixes with Purgatorial Savvy.

This Toronto show also reunites us with a dear friend from our Edhead Cruise in November. That's right, Piano Jane, of piano bar fame, has left the Carnival ship and headed to her Canuk homeland. She brings out her drumming brother, and we have a wonderful time catching up, and even get to pay her homage with a post-show, acapella "O Canada" - EFO style. Great seein' ya, Piano Jane. You tickle our ivories every time.

The next day made for a long haul in our two rental sedans to Ottawa.... about 6 hours. By the way the crow flies, it's more like 6 Days. Because crows aren't as fast as cars, and they have to stop to eat and poop a lot. Anyway -- the interesting metamorphosis that occurs while crossing the frozen tundra of Ontario into Quebec is how the music on the radio gets Frenchier and Frenchier. By the time we were driving through the streets of Ottawa to pick up a rented drum set, I am delighted to hear an actual french version of "The Name Game". You know the tune: "Shirley, Shirley, bo-Birley, banana fana fo Firley...." Now imagine that in French! Another fascinating thing about Canadian radio is the vast scope of the music rotation. Never before would I have ever expected to hear Rick Springfield followed by Pearl Jam -- but they'ze doin' it up in the Great White North. I wish American radio could be that broad-minded. Thank God I have XM. Perfect for the A.D.D. in me.
Where was I? Oh yes...

Dateline WAKEFIELD, QUEBEC - This quaint little riverfront town is about a half hour north of Quebec in the Gatineau Mountains. With snow just about everywhere, it was a little town so abundant with charm, that it had us all thinking, "Damn, why can't it be July!!" The venue is The Black Sheep Inn. As we walk in, many a regular are tipping pints and playing darts. We're told that our rooms are actually three flights up when it comes time to crash for the night. Sweet! After 6 hours in the car - not having to drive anywhere is a major bonus. Great grub from Billy's next door, fine service from waiter Lee. Bartenders Sean and Stephanie are friendly as can be, and Paul the owner has cool glass frames, and a fetish for human skulls. Again, we try not to judge.

As for the show, we have no reason to expect any of our own crowd, but darn it if there aren't enough road trippers to fill the tables, including some Ottawa friends I made at London's Heathrow Airport back in October, Paul and Trish. They gave me an Ottawa Senator's beer huggie. Considering I just gave them Washington Capital Petr Bondra, in a trade earlier that week - I don't know if it's a fair swap, but thanks, guys! The mother of a dear Canadian friend back home makes the trek up from Ottawa, Mrs. MacFarlane and friends.

Well, after a refreshing night's stay on the haunted third floor in the rustic establishment, we make the morning commute to Ottawa's airport, after dropping off drums to the ever-friendly drum renter, Fred, and stopping by a Canadian institution for morning refreshments, Tim Horton's. Thumbs up on Ottawa's Airport! An absolute breeze going through Immigration and Customs -- maybe that's part of our Homeland's Security's beef -- but we can say that inspections were thorough.... again, I'm denied cavity checks. Oh well. Home by four. I can write no more.

Thank you, O Canada - we stand on guard for thee!

Thanks for reading
Shizzle muh Canizzle,
MC MC